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Chase me, ladies, I'm in the cavalry
Monday, May 31, 2004
 
I AGREE WITH ABU HAMZA- UP TO A POINT
I was leafing through Abu Hamza’s sermons on the beach this afternoon. OK, he’s not everyone’s cup of tea, and I wouldn’t vote for him myself. I disagree with him about the need to blow up London; nor do we see eye to eye on the subject of flying airliners into buildings (he’s for, I’m against.) But in his wider argument that the UK is a moral cesspit and that the British are filthy drunken animals, I thought he made some valid points.

"They want only to look at nude pictures, go to football matches, have a few pints and go to sleep." This is not an ignorant ill-informed caricature; it is actually quite accurate, and the only riposte I can think of is that it beats blowing yourself up.

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HOW TO SAY “DEATH TO AMERICA” IN FARSI
Marg-bar Amreeka!- Death to America!
Marg-bar Inglistan!- Death to England!
Marg-bar Tony Blair!- Death to Tony Blair!
Click back next week and I’ll tell you the Farsi for "I am disillusioned with Tony Blair and am thinking of voting for the Liberal Democrats."

New readers! Learn how to say "Death to America" in Arabic.

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KILLER FACT!
In Brixton there is a language school calling itself The South Chelsea School of English. There is also, in Brixton, a place called “Johnnie's Café” run by a man called Dave, who is Turkish.

Nothing is what it seems, in Brixton.

Chelsea- expensive area of London.
Brixton- war zone four miles to the south, on the other side of the river.

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Saturday, May 29, 2004
 
ON THIS DAY
Today Noel Gallagher celebrates his 37th birthday, the oaf. It is also Bob Hope’s birthday, or would be if he hadn’t croaked last year. On this day in 1453 Constantinople fell to Turko the Terrible, and in 1765 Patrick Henry introduced resolutions attacking the right of Britain to tax the colonies by the Stamp Act.

If there are any Americans reading this, I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for the Stamp Tax.

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YOU WILL BE CRAPPED ON BY A PARROT
This site now has a Tell Your Friends facility. You can send an email to up to five of your pals, telling them about this site. And if they forward it to five of their pals you will all have luck in the New Year.

If they do not forward it you will be crapped on by a parrot.

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Friday, May 28, 2004
 
LYNDDIE ENGLAND SEX VIDEO!
Hurrah! Just had someone on looking for Lynddie England sex video.

It also turns out that I'm 24th on Google if you key in glue sniffers. There was recently some poor fellow on here looking for that. Sorry, friend, you’ve come to the wrong place. Most of my readers can afford meths; our social spheres are widely different. If you would like to meet other members of the solvent-abuse community you might want to check out one of those glue-sniffing chat rooms on Usenet. Other recent guests were in the market for Afghan ladies and mirrored ceilings. I don't seem to be getting a very high class of customer. If it was all the same guy I shall have to regard him as rather an odd fish.

Stuff that I regard as my core business -trivia and Killer Facts- still hasn't generated a single hit.

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Thursday, May 27, 2004
 
KILLER FACT!
Napoleon was afraid of cats.

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DANGEROUS NEW HOBBY
Dangerous new hobby in Hong Kong- throwing rocks out of skyscrapers. It is frowned upon by the police.




You laugh, but I did not laugh. I took these photos 100 yards from my front door.

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LOOK NO HANDS!
A lonely hearts profile of Abu Hamza –a.k.a. Hook Hands- to help him get some pen-friend action while he’s locked up with a bag over his head, having his knackers photographed.
For: walks along the beach, romantic dinners, Holy War
Relocate?: Currently being relocated, yes
Looks: Monocular
Occupation: Cleric/pantomime pirate
Drinking: Never drink. But I’m very good at retrieving martini olives.
...etc.
From Tim Blair.

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Wednesday, May 26, 2004
 
KILLER FACTS NO SUBSITUTE FOR SEX VIDEO
Today is Buddha’s birthday. It’s a public holiday in Hong Kong so to celebrate people are walking around shopping malls at two miles per hour, with their mouths hanging open. This is our most popular leisure activity. New readers can find Buddha jokes here and here.

In other news, the Google-baiting worked! I had a visitor a couple of hours ago hoping to find sex video, but I outwitted him and totally wasted his time! There’s no sex video here, friend, just Killer Facts. Fooled you!

He ought to be ashamed of himself.

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KILLER FACT!
The name Häagen-Dazs was invented by marketing executives in New Jersey. It means nothing in any language.

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Sunday, May 23, 2004
 
ORAL!
Lynndie England sex video download up-skirt all nude wrestling lesbian

Sorry about this everyone. Trying to drum up a few Google hits over here. Normal service will be resumed shortly.

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THE SCOTS: WILD MEN, HEADBANGERS
In the southern Iraqi town of Amara, 20 men from Scotland's Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders came under attack from 100 or so of Muqtada al-Sadr's "insurgents." So they fixed bayonets and charged. It was the first British bayonet charge since the Falklands War...

From Mark Steyn.

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MARVIN HAGLER IS 50!
Marvellous Marvin Hagler is 50 today. Many consider him to be the greatest middleweight of all time, but you could still sneak up and bash him over the head with a shovel if he wasn’t expecting it.

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KILLER FACTS, CHINESE DISASTER EDITION
The worst flood in history:
China, 1931; 3.7 million dead.

The second worst flood in history:
China, 1887; 900,000 dead.

The worst earthquake of the 20th century:
China, 1976; 242,000 dead.

The second worst earthquake of the 20th century:
China, 1927; 200,000 dead.

The worst earthquake in history:
China, 1556; 830,000 dead (est).

The worst famine in history:
China, 1959-61; 20 million dead.

The second worst famine in history:
China, 1876-79; 10 million dead.

The worst civil war in history (second worst war of any kind):
China, 1850-64; The Taiping Rebellion; 20-30 million dead.

China also lost more people in World War 2 (10.45 million) than Germany (5.5 million) and Japan (1.9 million) combined.

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Saturday, May 22, 2004
 
PYONGYANG, BREAKING NEWS!
This story has it all: Kim Jong Il; the Hungarian Workers’ Party; an official; a gift:
Leader Kim Jong Il received a gift from Gyula Thurmer, chairman of the Hungarian Workers' Party. The gift was handed to an official concerned by Janos Boida, vice-chairman of the party who is on a visit to the DPRK.
From the North Korean News Agency. If there’s any more on that, I’ll keep you posted.

I don't know what the Queen does with all her gifts; the North Koreans put theirs in the International Friendship Museum, a must-see for visitors. Seriously, if you go to North Korea you must see it; there is no choice.

You will see gifts to Kim Il Sung and his boy from Mao, Gaddaffi, Saddam Hussein, Caucescu, Stalin and "the religious leader of the United States". And who is he when he’s at home? It turned out to be Billy Graham. He gave Kim Il Sung a model of a bird, possibly an egret, though I am no expert on birds. Why he did this, I cannot say. I have no insight into the minds of these people.

We went to see gifts from the people of Hong Kong, which demonstrated their love for the Great Leader, etc. If you looked closely, the people of Hong Kong turned out to be the Managing Director of a shipping company, but I let it pass. Similarly, a gift from the Communist Party of Great Britain was described as being from the people of Great Britain.

I wanted to explain that these people have less influence on British public life than the Society of Rabbit Breeders. There are sixty million people in the UK, while the Communist Party of Great Britain consists of three men and a dog, all maniacs, who regularly get defeated by the Monster Raving Loony Party. But I expect the whole idea of a Loony Party would be radically unintelligible to a North Korean: "There's this man, you see, who wears a big hat. He turns up at election meetings and tries to be funny. Under our system if enough people voted for him he actually would become Prime Minister..." And yet, if you look at it from another angle, they do have a loony party: they've been in power for six decades. And it hasn't been many laughs at all.

There were more pressies to see, supposedly more than 100,000 of them, from guerrilla armies, travel agencies, trade unions, African despots. Stalin gave him an armoured car and some train carriages. Jimmy Carter, meanwhile, had given the man an ashtray. From Chretien he got a book of Canadian scenery. Caucescu gave him a rather tasteful bear's head. A group of Danes, to my great admiration, had given him the type of junk you buy in airports: souvenir beer glasses, absolute crap, value surely not more than a Toblerone. They apparently though this would be a suitable gift for one of the twentieth-century's leading psychopaths.

If I were a Great Leader I would have had them shot.

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SAY IT WITH BEES
Attention, anti-war protesters! The British Parliament is not a suitable place for the loutish hurling of flour. Hats off for getting past security. But flour? Not funny. Only overgrown students throw flour around.

Had you thrown a pig’s trotter at Mr Blair, or pelted him with fruit, you would have earned my respect. But a true evil genius would have snuck round to the press gallery and heaved a nest of bees onto his head- during Prime Minister’s questions, just when he was least expecting it.

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Thursday, May 20, 2004
 
KING OF THE BLOGS COMPETITION
This week’s challenge question from the King of the Blogs competition:
A Hollywood studio is going to make a film of your life. What's the title, who is the star, and what is it all about? The answer needs to be posted on your blog.
My entry
:

WE ARE NOT AS TOMATOES
Hutton, played by Professor Paul Krugman, makes fifty clones of himself, each with a different hairstyle. One of them –the "control" Hutton- will keep his old job as a teacher, while the others become economists, accountants and goat herds, and they try to measure scientifically who is happiest.

His girlfriend, played by Lisa Kudrow (who gained 40lb for the role), is opposed to cloning on ethical grounds, but Hutton dismisses her fears. "It works for fucking tomatoes, doesn’t it?" he snarls, and pushes her face into a cream cake.

There follows fifty minutes of low-grade slapstick as the various Huttons try to go about their lives, but keep getting derailed by mixed-identity scrapes.

The denouement is that all fifty Huttons meet on a piece of waste ground, to discuss who should get Kudrow. This degenerates into a sordid knife fight, with Kudrow trying to hold back the control Hutton. When the others are dead, she wipes the blood from his forehead as he lights a cigar. “There can only be one Hutton,” he says, and roars like a wounded bear.

THE END.

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Wednesday, May 19, 2004
 
JENNIFER LOPEZ HAS BEEN SHOT!
Jennifer Lopez, the popular entertainer, has been shot.

UPDATE!
Jennifer Lopez has NOT been shot, not even slightly. I was confusing her with President McKinley. I apologise for any distress this caused.



Our thoughts must be with Mr McKinley's family at this difficult time.

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Tuesday, May 18, 2004
 
KILLER FACT!
In the War of the Triple Alliance Paraguay lost 95% of its male population.

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Monday, May 17, 2004
 
I AM OPPOSED TO THE HACKING OFF OF HEADS
A woman on Radio 5 just said that the beheading of Nick Berg was an understandable reaction to the treatment of Iraqi prisoners. If they had put a sack on his head and pointed at his nuts, I might concur. But I think it was an overreaction to saw his whole head off.

There is far too much mowing off of heads these days. I am opposed to it.

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COMMENT WOULD BE SUPERFLUOUS
North Korea is shocked by American human rights abuses in Iraq.

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TOWARDS THE UBERMENSCH
Where I work they have put up a load of posters promoting British education. "That which does not kill you makes you stronger," says one. This is supposed to be an advert for the University of Sheffield.



Sheffield

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Sunday, May 16, 2004
 
HOW TO SAY “DEATH TO AMERICA” IN ARABIC
Al mout li Amreeka- Death to America!
Al mout li Ingiltra- Death to England!
Al mout li Tony Blair- Death to Tony Blair!
Click back next week and I’ll tell you the Arabic for "Moderate progress within the bounds of the law."

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Saturday, May 15, 2004
 
IF YOU DON’T CLEAR OFF, I’LL SET THE DOGS ON YOU
The following people have linked to me so I am linking right back at them. That’s the policy around here. I always was a well brought up boy.
Cowgirl Up
Shuxie
Yaya Empress
Peking Duck
Audience of One
Patriot Paradox
Psychic Pants
Bastards Inc
The Voices in my Head
I got a rave review from Bastards Incorporated who, a bastard himself, sees me as a kindred spirit.

If you linked to me but I haven’t linked back, send an email to bitch at me and I’ll get it fixed. I will link to anyone, even very stupid people and their stupid friends. All are welcome on this site.

But turn up at my house and I will fire a warning shot. And if you still won’t disperse, I’ll release the hounds.

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Thursday, May 13, 2004
 
CAPRICORN- BEWARE OF FALLING MASONRY!
Amazing but true: all the people who died in the 1906 San Francisco earthquake had the star sign Capricorn. In the San Francisco Chronicle that morning the astrolger, Psychic Sid, had written:
Capricorn- beware of falling masonry.
His warning came too late. The earthquake struck at 5.12am.

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ANOTHER ATROCITY
Last night CBS broadcast a video diary about life in Camp Bucca, narrated by a girl-soldier, aged 20. "This is a sand viper,” says the charmless young sow. “One bite will kill you in six hours. We've already had two prisoners die of it, but who cares? That's two less for me to worry about."

Christ almighty, what an oaf! It should be: “That’s two fewer for me to worry about.” It’s a countable noun, you savage.

Let it be set down with her other crimes.

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Wednesday, May 12, 2004
 
STOPPING HITLER AT MUNICH
Just booked a kid for chewing gum. Put him in detention, the young toad. You have to nip these things in the bud. Let them get away with gum this week and next week it will be a cheeseburger. Turn a blind eye to the cheeseburger and before you know it they'll be bringing a whole haunch of venison to class.

Oh, I’ve seen it all.

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KILLER FACT!
Shenzhen produces 80% of the world’s artificial Christmas trees.

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Tuesday, May 11, 2004
 
HOW VERY UNPLEASANT
The most unpleasant place in the world to live is Brazzaville, according to The Economist’s quality of life index. It is 2% more unpleasant than Baghdad, and only 28.5% as pleasant as New York.

Zurich is 6.5% more pleasant than New York. It is the world’s most pleasant place, give or take its miserable inhabitants.

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Monday, May 10, 2004
 
HATS OFF
Hats off to these nice people, who recently linked to me. Go and say hello, if you have nothing more pressing to do.

“Tim” Blair (Australia)
Senor Flying Chair (The Big Lychee)
I Love Everything (Mud Island)
Ang’s Weird ideas (Mud Island)
Paul Frankenstein (US of States)
Fuck Everything (US of States)

Interesting to see that I was linked by I Love Everything and Fuck Everything within the same few days. They’ll have to agree to disagree: I don’t want my comments section degenerating into a snarling fist-fight again.

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ROUND BEDS, MIRRORED CEILINGS
Japanese Love Hotels are having trouble raising capital, according the Straits Times. Trade remains brisk, but there was over-investment during the boom years, and banks still don’t regard them as quite respectable.

And why can’t the Japanese make beasts of themselves in the privacy of their own homes? Because there is no privacy: they live in tiny overcrowded apartments, some still with rice paper walls. For really frantic debauchery you need to go out.

I once spent a couple of hours in one of these establishments. It had a round bed and a mirrored ceiling, but in the event I didn’t enjoy myself as much as I had hoped. That mirrored ceiling put me off: I was worried that it would fall off the ceiling and kill me.

An interesting question, and one that you might like to consider, is why round beds should be considered more exciting than square or rectangular ones. They are certainly less practical, since human beings are approximately rectangular in shape, and there is thus no portion of a rectangular bed that cannot comfortably be slept upon; whereas any round bed, unless the diameter is enormous, will have areas over the side of which one's head and feet would protrude, if one attempted to lie there. As soon as I hit the money I'm going to buy a ROTATING round bed. I'll get my servants to lay out trays of snacks around the edge. Then, instead of having to stand up to get food, I can lie on my bed and take snaps at it as I rotate past.

And I'm definitely going to get a mirrored ceiling. Consider the advantages: while you are having sex of yourself you can check that your hair is still looking stylish, and perhaps trim your moustache. It allows you to look your best, no matter how frantic the debauchery. And if there is a ninja hiding behind the curtains, plotting a surprise attack, you can spot him before it's too late. "You there! Come on out, you little bleeder. The game is up." (Don't forget to confiscate his fighting sticks, or he'll be back, mark my words.)


Tip from me: there will be several channels of free filth on the TV; do not touch this as it will cause a row with your girlfriend and, at several dollars a minute, the very last thing you want is any kind of conversation breaking out. They’ll charge you an extra hour.

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Saturday, May 08, 2004
 
KILLER FACT!
Venezuela is the third largest OPEC supplier. Venezuelan crude is heavy and sour and trades at a discount, like the women in High Wycombe.

But Venezuela is a nice place, however much one disapproves of their hydrocarbons. KILLER FACT: just under half of the national territory is tropical forest. And they have 0.4% of the world’s population, but 9.6% of former Miss Worlds, for what that's worth.

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Thursday, May 06, 2004
 
VIBRATING AB BELT CHANGED MY LIFE
I recently bought an All-Star Deluxe Ab Belt. Three months ago I was a fat cunt. Now I'm a fat cunt with a vibrating belt.

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Wednesday, May 05, 2004
 
YOUR CHILD IS AN ILLITERATE CABBAGE
Writing their reports at the moment. Revenge! That will wipe the smiles off their nasty little faces! A lot of teachers give everyone top marks for everything, but I see it as my duty to say quite clearly "Your child is an illiterate cabbage," if this is the case. "He is in the advanced class because no one has ever failed him. Nevertheless, he speaks English like a dog."

In Hong Kong a school report is simply a fire-and-forget missile: you send it to the parents, and that is the end of it. In Italy I had to give everyone the highest grades possible, just to keep their appalling pushy mammas off my back; otherwise I’d have them turning up in person to hound and badger me. Some of them were actually aggressive, convinced that anyone who dissented from the view that their child was a genius must be motivated by malice. Very often I was motivated by malice, but that is not the point. In these reports I can say only that their whelp turns up late and acts the goat, spilling things and irritating me greatly. I cannot ask them to justify how they can possibly feel affection for such a creature, nor can I request that they please stop polluting the earth with these mewling consumers.

There is nothing wrong with most of these kids that a prolonged and merciless beating wouldn’t put right. This new human rights legislation has really taken the fun out of teaching.

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RECIPROLL
I now have a RecipRoll. If you link to me it will link back automatically irrespective of how dull your blog is.

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KILLER FACT!
Brazilians have a word -raimunda- that means a woman with an ugly face but a nice a***. (Pronounced hi-munda.)

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Tuesday, May 04, 2004
 
WOMAN SAYS HER BEST FRIENDS ARE CATS
At work today a woman told me that she talks to her cats and tells them her problems, and the cats listen. “You should be locked up,” I thought. If you meet someone who tells you that her best friends are cats, the correct response is to look at your watch and say, “Is that the time? TAXI!” That is what I would do, if I met such a person in my free time. But here there was no escape.

There is no escape but the tomb.

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THIS TRAINING DAY IS AS WELCOME AS A COCKROACH IN MY SALAD
Have to go to another of their stinking training days in a minute. I don’t believe in “training”; I believe you should let people work it out for themselves, then shout at them when they get it wrong.

The thought of this training day makes me want to absolutely sob with boredom.

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Monday, May 03, 2004
 
LETTER OF THE WEEK
Due to circumstances beyond my control, Letter of the Week has been cancelled. There will be NO Letter of the Week.

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Sunday, May 02, 2004
 
ATTENTION!
Persons requiring Asian women in swimwear might like to try See Lai. Hats off to Ron at See Lai for plugging this site.

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KILLER FACT!
The Ivory Coast is the world’s largest producer of cocoa. It produces more cocoa than England, Scotland and Finland combined.

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MAN, THAT’S WHAT I CALL REAL COFFEE!
How to make real espresso, just like the Italians drink:

1. Take roasted Arabica beans. These must be very finely ground.
2. Ensure that the water reservoir is fully topped up. This increases the steam pressure. If the steam pressure is low the extraction will be too slow, and you will get bitter tasting coffee without the light brown head or “crema”.
3. Put the ground espresso beans into the machine and press down very lightly.
4. Press start.
5. Towards the end of the extraction the liquid becomes almost clear -if this happens you should use more Arabica grinds or stop the extraction earlier.
6. Press stop.
7. Add six sugars until it is sweeter than a fucking choc-ice.
8. Stop bellowing for five seconds.
9. You are now ready to drink your coffee.

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KILLER FACT!
The Ivory Coast is the world’s largest producer of cocoa. It produces more cocoa than England, Scotland and Finland combined.

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Saturday, May 01, 2004
 
WHEN YOU SLEEP ON THE "CHEAP” BED, YOU WILL FEEL IT IS TOO BAD.
Hotels: Hong Kong has a lot of elegant, hideous, expensive, affordable hotels. Some of the scenic hotels are expensive and some of them are cheap. But some repulsive hotel, the boss of the hotel take the customs many money. Just like a “By law thief”.

Some of the hotels are affordable but it is dirty, when you sleep on the “cheap” bed, you will feel it is too bad. Some of the low-budget hotels are extremely pretty, although it is super pretty, it is cheap.


Announcement from the Hong Kong Ministry of Tourism.

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TWITTER



ECONOMICS AND POLITICS

Krugman's cat

I agree with Abu Hamza- up to a point

The time I punched JK Galbraith

Who was worse: Blair or Hitler?

In Defence of John Prescott

Prescott 2



CELEBRITY NEWS

Jennifer Lopez has been shot!

Nicholas Cage is a tit

A Rolex, though ugly, will pay for itself in quim

Colombian death squads dump Kate Moss

50 Cent almost too stupid to speak

Ooh, brain hurts

Nothing fishy about monster carp says Krugman

I'm so angreeee

Ben Affleck

The Magic of Snoop

Inane Dogg

Germaine Greer's gusset


MEANINGLESS HOAXES

Correspondence with the Ku Klux Klan

Correspondence with Boris Johnsons

Ministry of Defence

Thames Valley Police

Meatloaf

British Airways- I'll show those fucks

Bank

The Polite Society

Is this a library or a bordello?

Rumsfeld

Israeli Embassy

My MP

The Scottish National Party

Garry Bushell

Letter to Gunsmith (1)

Greenspan

Richard Dawkins


TEACHING ENGLISH

Your child is an illiterate cabbage

Like a trouser, yet not a trouser

Why is life so wretched?

Stopping Hitler at Munich

The British Council- at least it's not run by a drunk

Non-academic sub-adult clowning

You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear

No sane man cares about such things

Who, whom?

Your daughter is very beautiful, but unfortunately completely stupid

The Business English racket

Keith Richards' English level

The Dunderheads shall inherit the earth

Teaching English to cretins

This is a real pain in the arse

I hate teaching English


BRITAIN

I'm sick of this country and its stupid taps

Glue sniffers

Yorkshire Yahoos

The British public are deeply stupid

The UK's most successful ethnic group

Violent Britain

The man on the Clapham omnibus is a cretin

How much do you give a ponce?

Reflections on the British drunk

This septic isle

Thoughts on muggers

Do you want a punch in the mouth?

How many divisions has Eddie Izzard?

Most of the world’s problems still caused by Britain

This country's really gone to hell since we stopped burning papists

Many of my best friends are bishops

Britain's Unfunniest Comedian

Reading, Berkshire, is a dog hole

Please go away


COLOMBIA

Shut your cake hole, you lunatic

I don't care about human rights that much

Why I don't take drugs

Someone is getting mugged

I am a victim of crime

Robbie Williams to blame for Colombian Civil War

That which does not kill you almost kills you

I don't know how much more I can take

Colombian girl santas

The hippos of Pablo Escobar


VENEZUELA

Dancing on the deck of the Titanic

You toucha my pies, I shoota you head

The pros and cons of domestic violence

Life? Don't talk to me about life

The evil Castro cured my cough

Breast implants out of control

Venezuelan crude is heavy and sour, like the women in High Wycombe

One of those parties that got out of hand

Do you believe everything The Economist tells you?

Don King has lots of good ideas

Chavezfest (1)

Chavezfest (2)


BLOGGERS

The Instapundit: a master of the bore's craft

Pie attacks on Professor Krugman

Hooahs!

The Andrew Sullivan Hoax

Eminem, Bin Laden, Tim Blair, etc.

If you don't clear off, I'll set the dogs on you

Malkins and Hinderaker: not for an age, but for all time

Instapundit failing the boring man in a pub test

The fearless Huffington

Sourpuss Malkin

Book!


THE GREAT BIG WAR AGAINST TERROR

How to say "Death to America!" in Arabic

How to say "Death to America!" in Farsi

If you stick your dick in a bees' nest you'll get stung

I am opposed to the hacking off of heads

Iraq- it's all a matter of perspective

Top ten warmongers

Islamic Banking

Knob heads

Bush pursues terrorist beyond the grave

Another atrocity


NORTH KOREA

Kim Jong Il wouldn't do that- it's irrational

Addio Amore, Addio Razza

If London is still standing in 2020, I'll eat my hat

Kim Il Sung's birthday!

Billy Graham in North Korea

North Korea job offer

The time I saw a woman get savaged by a bear


SPORTS JOURNALISM

People who like football should be put in boxes and bulldozed into the sea

Please hit our fans with clubs

Baseball is idiotic

I love Brazilian Ultimate Fighting

World Cup diary


PALESTINE

Where to buy beer in Gaza

The time I worked as a film censor in the Gaza Strip

Someone threw a bomb in our garden

It is high time Mr Arafat made up his mind if he is going to live or die

Israel / Palestine- the problem of two men in one trousers

Israel's wall

Meet the Arafats


AUSTRALIA

Is it wrong to execute Australians?

Anzac day

Twisted gonads

Australians vs. camels

Off with the false whiskers

The Australian Broadcasting Corporation


LITERATURE

Your severed foot would look good on my coffee table

Condi 2008, a love poem

It doesn't seem to make sense

Fisking the poet Keats


STUDENT WORK

Gaza

Brazil

Venezuela

Italy

Hong Kong

When you sleep on the "cheap" bed, you will feel it is too bad



TRAVEL

Christ were those peasants ugly

Machete man asks me for money

Tips for visiting prisoners

Trip to the Orinoco


TODD MATHERS

Personal injury lawyer

President Ahmajinadad


MISC

Live-blogging the plane crash

Prison survival tips

Suicide statistics

Survey: Britons marginally less unpopular than the French

David Irving

Arab Americans

If you like rock music you must be stupid

Quality of life index

A pogrom of quails

Krugman in Bogota

People now idiots- TV to blame

Goldman Sachs makes billions shorting Goldman Sachs stock

Rum

The Amis brothers

Haiku on another wasted year


BARRY HUTTON'S POSTS

The illusion of plenty

Diets


KILLER FACTS!

Killer Fact! (Brazil)

Killer Fact! (Quality of life index)

Killer Fact! (Canada)

Killer Fact! (New York Times)

Killer Fact! (Paraguay)

Killer Fact! (Häagen-Dazs)

Killer Fact! (Napoleon)

Killer Fact! (Brixton)

Killer Fact! (Switzerland)

Killer Fact! (Pakistan)

Killer Fact! (Shenzhen)

Killer Fact! (Brazil 2)

Killer Fact! (Colombia)

Killer Fact! (France)

Killer Fact! (British National Party)

Killer Fact! (Brazil, World Cup)

Killer Fact! (Vietnam)

Killer Fact! (Shenzhen)

Killer Fact! (Ivory Coast)

Killer Fact! (Sweden)

Killer Fact! (Vegans)

Killer Fact! (Lenin, Trotsky, Stalin, Engels)

Killer Fact! (Casanova)

Killer Fact! (James Bond)

Killer Fact! (Iraq / foxhunting)

Killer Fact! (Drug abuse in Iran)

Killer Fact! (Murder rates)

Killer Fact! (Strangling)

Killer Fact! (Buglaries)

Killer Fact! (Switzerland 2)

Killer Fact! (Saddam Hussein / New York Times)

Killer Fact! (Evian)

Killer Fact! (Suicide bombers)

Killer Fact! (Bollywood)

Killer Fact! (Australian women)

Killer Fact! (Costa Rica)

Killer Fact! (Cocaine mark-ups)

Killer Fact! (Jesuits)

Killer Fact! (Iceland)

Killer Fact! (Nobel Prizes by nationality)

Killer Fact! (King Shaka of the Zulus)

Killer Fact! (North Korea)

Killer Fact! (Red Heads)

Killer Fact! (Death row)

Killer Fact! (Japan)

Killer Fact! (Thailand)

Killer Fact! (highest-grossing film in history)

Killer Fact! (Churchill's mother)

Killer Fact! (Fastest growing economies)

Killer Fact! (First English sentence)

Killer Fact! (Wodehouse, Raymond Chandler)

Killer Fact! (Swiss Civil War)

Killer Fact! (Alcohol consumption)

Killer Fact! (Anglo-French Wars)

Killer Fact! (Price of barrels)

Killer Fact! (Iraqi Jews)

Killer Fact! (Top ten warmongers)

Killer Fact! (Karl Marx' uncle)

Killer Fact! (India)

Killer Fact! (Yuletide murders)

Killer Fact! (Tories)

Killer Fact! (Frogs)

Killer Fact! (Romeo and Juliet)

Killer Fact! (New York Times / Saddam Hussein)

Killer Fact! (The Evil Castro)

(More Killer Facts and other things in the archives.)



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